Love Endures
Posted by Ben Stevens on
The photo above was in our early days of marriage but far enough in we had truly learned to love each other. That learning never ends even to this very day. We got married because our hormones lead to us having our first child. And looking back we both without hesitation will say we didn't love each other when we got married. The cool part of the story is we fell in love living together and raising our first child. By the time this picture was taken we were very much in love but shall we say inexperienced in love.
I believe love does and can exist in the valleys and the mountains and everywhere in between. The depth of love though is truly tested in the hard times though. To love someone when you are both living your best life, doing something you enjoy and feeling great is pretty simple to do. Firefighters aren't tested when they are sitting at the fire station waiting for a call, it's when there is a fire. The same is true for love. The difficult times are when love really is tested and either shows up or blows it.
My wife in the last year was diagnosed with a mental disorder, which is quite severe. You can read about it on her blog here on our other business website. It has shed light on some very difficult years we have had together. I should say they were filled with some great times and moments. If you look at our business and personal posts they are mostly positive good things 95% of the time because that is what we choose to focus on.
My wife is constantly is surprised with why I stick around despite the chaos and challenges that can arise from her disorder. For me there is no question and I think the challenge is because we view mental disorders different than other illnesses. As our doctor recently said if you need glasses you have something wrong with your eyes, we don't give people a hard time for wearing glasses. A mental disorder is an illness where it is taking place in the brain.
For me our love is in the time of its truest test. We aren't like a sports team in the last moments of a game where their grit and determination will make the difference. We are more like marathon runners who have hit a wall. Marathon runners typically hit a wall, the most challenging part around the 30km range. That means they still have a little over 12 more kilometres to go. For us the first 30km had its challenges but we are now hitting the wall. And we know that while it has and will improve the toughest half of the race is ahead.
I look forward to the last half though, because I know we are more together than ever before. That when challenges arise we face them together. The risk and effort required is much harder but the reward and potential is so much greater. I encourage all the relationships out there that have that early on photo, just starting out, that hard times aren't always a bad thing and can deepen and enrich a relationship. It is however, important to know when it is that versus when it is time to move on and that your relationship is just toxic to one or both of you. For us, I'm glad that our love endures.